ABC's of ...people who inspire me!

Why not make a list of all the people who have made an impact on my life. I am so thankful for everyone in my life and I wouldn't have any of you any other way... <3

So here goes...

A. A is definitely dedicated to my brother, Andy. Although he was killed in a horrible flood on Mount Rainier in November of 2006, I still feel like he has had one of the most substantial impacts on my life of anyone. Andy was known for being loving, friendly, outgoing, and just all around a great guy. As my older brother he taught me so many things about life, and the type of person I want to be. He may have been annoyed with me at times, and we may have bickered like every brother and sister do, but he never forgot to tell me he loved me and include me in things a lot of siblings wouldn't have. I am so greatful for all of the times we shared together and I miss him more than I could ever explain in this blog. I know somewhere up there he's saving a spot for me and I can't wait until the day I get to take it. I love you Andy.

B. B goes to my amazing Mom, Becky. Wow, where to begin... This woman is the strongest, most amazing person I have, and will ever meet. Without my Mom, I truthfully do not think I would be here today after all that we have been through. She keeps me level-headed and reminds me of the good in life every day. I wish nothing more than to be exactly like her when I grow up, and I only hope my kids will some day think of me the way I think of my Mom. I can tell her anything, absolutely anything and she will never judge me or make me feel bad about myself. She is honest beyond necessary and not afraid to tell me a shirt makes me look dumb. I love my Mom so much, and there is nothing more I can say than that and she is my best friend.

C. C goes to Claim Jumper! Because there's too many of you to give you your own letters. I have so much love for that place, and all the amazing friends I met since working there. All the hosts are some of my favorite people, and the managers are just great as well. It's great how a lot of us came from really different groups of people and all hang out and can get along and love eachother regardless. Even though I don't work there any more, I miss it all the time and I hope atleast some of them miss me too!

D. D is for my Dog Gunner because he drives me crazy and I love him anyways. He was Andy's dog before he passed away and has become a member of our family. He's a 100 pound yellow lab and absolutely runs the house. Even though you eat my shoes and get white hair all over my black clothes, I still love you, most of the time.

E. ...Every good looking down to earth nice guy who wants to take me on a date.

F. is for Fab 5.. my awesome group of best friends from kindergarten, Sam, Carly, Kelsie and Maggie. We all live in different places now and don't get to see eachother all too often, but make a point to have fab 5 dinners every time we are all in town. I love these girls so much and would do absolutely anything for them. We have SO many memories of swimming on the lake, and swim team at OV and Marvista and making music videos, and time capsules and walking to Subway when Normandy Park Athletic used to be Thriftway.. and also walking to Dairy Queen by QFC, and sleeping on my trampoline but coming inside at like midnight, and trick or treating dressed up like idiots, and making home movies, and just pretty much anything from Marvista days.. Oh how I miss those days, and those girls. <3

G. Obviously G goes to my best friend, and only G friend... Grace. We have been friends now for like.. ummmmm 8 years? I'm not sure exactly but that sounds about right. And I still love her to death. She's one of my only friends I've never gotten into a real fight with (knock on wood)... It's a great thing when you can find a friend with no drama...and I know we'll be bestest friends forever. She is one of the most non-judgemental friends, and I can talk to and tell her anything. I am so thankful that we have a lot of the same feelings and opinions about things. We do a lot of crazy stupid things, but can also just sit and watch spongebob all day and eat pizza and be happy. Love you !!!

H. H goes to Hanner. We haven't been friends for super long but it feels like we have and I love her more than life! I love Hannah cause she is so easy going and down for anything. She is another friend with no drama involved and I'm not worried about getting into dumb fights about BS and other things. She really cares about other people and isn't quick to judge. Sometimes we sneak off in parties and be lame in the corner, and other times we are the only ones dancing in the middle of a room where we don't know anyone... either way we always have fun and I love her to pieces.

I. is for Me myself and I. Because I have began to start loving myself, and trying to deal with a lot of issues I struggle with. I have started trying to turn a new leaf and start a new chapter in my life...for the better.

J. J is going to be my Dad, John. He died in December 2010 and it still feels like yesterday we were sitting on the couch watching Desperate Housewives while he complained how dumb it was. My Dad and I had a really rocky relationship growing up, because we are so much alike. We always called eachothers bullshit, are very stubborn, and aren't afraid to speak our minds. But at the same time, we are both very loving and sensitive. My Dad had a disease that took over his life in his last years, and I know every day that if it weren't for the Alcohol I would still have my Dad on my wedding day, and a Grandfather for my kids. I have so many amazing memories of when my brother and I were kids of my Dad teaching us how to ride bikes, taking us camping, teaching us to fish... I would give anything to go back to those days. Missing you always.. I hope I make you proud.

K. K is for one of my favorite professors at school, Kevin. He has taught me so much in the classes his that I have taken, I try to sign up for one every quarter. He is a lawyer with his own firm and teaches at UW law school, BCC in the criminal justice dept., and HCC in the paralegal program. He inspires me so much and is one of the few teachers I've had that I really understand what he's talking about.

L. L is for Loren.. My stinky future husband. I love him because he loved me through my most awkward ugly loser days... Not that I am not still any of those things.. He is one of my few friends who will tell me if I am doing something that's not good for me or that I am making a bad decision.. I love that he is so protective and doesn't want me to talk to boys. I would trust him with anything and I know I can count on him for whatever. Plus he is kinda funny.. Kinda.

M. is for Bob Marley not only for music but for paving the way for it to be okay to have 11 kids with 8 different baby mama's.

N. is for aNyone who helps those in need. I try to do what I can... but I am so inspired by people who are willing to completely put others before themself. We could use more people like that in the world.

O. O is for....JarOn? I'll make it work. Jarin has been my friend since well.......forever ago. I love her so much and hate when we don't see eachother or talk very much. I like to think about how we were when we first met and how much different we are now than that... I love it. She does her own thing and really doesn't care what anyone has to say and I love that about her. She is also very fun and uplifting to be around and that is really refreshing sometimes when you're going through a rough patch. She's someone I could talk to and relate to about a lot of things, and is completely accepting and loving.

P. P is for Paul McCartney.. even though I'm definitely a Lennon girl..

Q. Q doesnt relate to anything so I'm just dedicating it to My Chels who I miss so much all the time.. And she just came home today from Calif and I cannot wait to seeeee herrrrrrrr! The first time we met she thought I was an idiot or something and probably still does.. but I love her and wouldn't change a thing about her.

R. R is for Ricky "aka" slick Rick cause he's my big brother and of course I have to add him to this. He was Andy's best friend and I can't remember too many times that he was at our house that they weren't making fun of me for one thing or another. I'll never forget the time they gave me the unfortunate nick name of "poop finger hardcore" after I asked if Ghandi was a wizard... anyways, I'm so happy we've kept in touch and hang out and are still good friends.

S. S is for Sam Brown because she has been one of my closest friends for the longest. We've been friends since Kindergarten, and were best friends for the majority of the time since we've known eachother. We're not as close now, but I'd still do anything for her and I know she would do the same. She's one of those friends you don't have to see or talk to every day to know you still care about eachother and we can still tell eachother anything no matter how long it's been. I hope she knows how much I love her and that I always will.

T. T is for Troy, because he is another one of my big brothers who I love so very much. He is returning this week from over seas and I am SO thrilled. I love him like a brother and he treats me like a little sister. He was one of Andy's best friends and now has his face tattooed right on his forearm. He was someone my Dad really got along with and cared about so much. I hope we'll be close for a very long long time.

U. U is ..... for........ uhhh ...

V. V is for Vio cause she is the best. I wish we were still as close as in High School but I still think about her all the time and wish we'd see eachother more. Vio has always been so genuine and generous no matter what. I always loved that she got me lillies, and lucky charms for my birthday every year in High School because they were my favorites. Just talking about it here makes me miss her even more. Love you Vio!

W. Well since I don't have any W friends, I'll use this spot for Andi, cause her last name starts with a W.. She was dating my brother Andy for several years before he passed away, and after that happened we became so much closer than before. And I know Andy would have wanted that. I am so thankful he was with someone who genuinely cared about him, and his family and treats us like her own. My Mom thinks of her as another daughter, and to me she is like a sister. I know we'll be friends forever, and I hope she does too.

X. X is for LeXa. My little azn friend. I miss her all the time because she is so far away in Arizona, or Pullman, or something... but everytime she comes home it's like she never left! We started our friendship in 7th grade when she had a twitch and wore a red skort with like, tennis shoes on the first day of school.. now shes like miss-fashion and has all these trendy clothes. I love her so much even when she is millions of miles away doing who knows what. Plus she always calls with the latest stories that just make me shake my head. Love you daughter.

Y. is for You for reading this.... and also the word Yay cause I use it too much.

Z. Is for all of my good friendZ not mentioned in here specifically... I love you all so much and am so thankful to have you in my life. Through the good and bad, friends are what keep us alive. So for that I am grateful!




Sorry to anyone who was left out, or offended by this!!!!!! I still love you and didn't mean any harm! :)

Xo

Chivalry is not dead

Two days ago, I was out and about shopping and had one of those "ah-ha!" moments. I was walking into a store when a man speed walked infront of me... Just as I was thinking to myself "how rude..." he grabbed the door and opened it only to let me walk in first. He must have been in his mid-thirties so it was clearly just an act of kindness. I smiled and said thank you, he said you're welcome and we went our seperate ways. As I was walking through the store it became so clear to me that not many of the guys I grew up with would ever do something like that. And I also thought about how good it made me feel. Good old fashioned polite  gentlemen are what we need a little more of in this world. If only we could all go back in time to when things were a little different, when "ho's" were ladies, and "bro's" were gentlemen. I think I'd like that time a lot more than I do now.
Today I had an incident happen at work that has been ongoing for a while now with a particular employee I am not entirely fond of. Occasionally I'll see him and he will be friendly, but now and again he has some of the most vulgar, insulting comments that make me so uncomfortable. Being my non-confrontational self, I don't say anything, but choose to ignore what he says and let it go. Today I got so worked up about it I teared up and stormed out of the break room. I have talked myself into saying something to him and I do not look forward to it at all.
What I'm saying is this- Treating women like a floor mat isn't going to get you anywhere in life that you want to be. When did it become okay for people to talk to eachother like we're all just trash? When did it become okay to swear at, yell at, even hit women and still be a public figure (ie Chris Brown)? I am so tired of music with the nastiest lyrics, and kids who aren't even 18 yet walking around talking about sex and sluts and other things. It's not by any means "cool" to treat people poorly, especially women and girls. I wish there was something we could all do to change the minds of society and get things back to the way they were before reality tv and other negative influences. Open the door for us, pull our chair out, tell us we look pretty, and don't act like you care unless you really do.
I very much look forward to the day I meet a guy who treats me with respect and doesn't act like an animal who can't hold his tongue for 5 seconds. I truly believe not all men are the same and just because I have had about the worst experience in the world in past relationships, doesn't mean I am going to give up completely. Somewhere out there on an island, or planet, or something there has to be a group of nice guys who know how to be good people. I beleive in chivalry, and won't ever stop.

Xo

TOP 5's

So I got this idea to write about different things/topics and write about the top 5 of each.. seems weird, eh.. May as well have some fun with this thing huh! Here goes...

(In no particular order)

TOP 5 songs I'm listening to right now-
1. Friday - Rebec......just kidding
1. Set fire to the rain - Adele
2. Take it personal - Go Periscope
3. New People - Blue Scholars
4. Cats and dogs - The Head and the Heart
5. Need that - Mod Sun

TOP 5 best scents ever
1. Boys (clean ones)
2. Brewing coffee
3. Fresh cut grass
4. Orange peel candles from Anthropologie
5. Rain

TOP 5 things on my grocery list-
1. Cranberry Raspberry Juice
2. Bananas
3. Frozen bags of steamable vegetables
4. Margherita Pizza
5. Asparagus


TOP 5 places I want to go before I die-
1. Italy, for the food
2. Scotland, to meet/visit relatives
3. Ireland, because of the movie PS I love you
4. Australia, for the men
5. Washington D.C. to see EVERYTHING there


TOP 5 places you should take a girl (or I guess where I'd want to be taken)
1. Rollerblading OR flying kites at a beach
2. A gun range (if you know what you're doing)
3. A hike
4. On a sail boat
5. Camping in the summer or the mountains in the winter


TOP 5 must have at all times
1. Chapstick
2. Rings
3. Washed hair
4. Good company or no company
5. Dreams and goals


TOP 5 habits
1. Random candles burning always
2. Being awkward/getting embarrassed
3. Biting lip
4. Over thinking
5. Being the mom...


TOP 5 goals in life
1. Be happy with myself
2. Have no regrets
3. Follow all dreams
4. Be just like my Mom
5. Travel, a lot


TOP 5 things I miss about being younger
1. Dad killing spiders
2. Recess
3. Buying new plain white Adidas at the beginning of the school year
4. Dressing up for High School dances
5. Barbies


TOP 5 things I never have and never will do
1. Steal
2. Man made drugs (besides medicine, duh)
3. Someone elses boyfriend
4. Go streaking
5. Ask my boyfriend/husband if we can wear matching shirts


TOP 5 guilty pleasures
1. Frozen hersheys chocolate bars
2. Watching professional golf/ HGTV
3. Blasting stupid music like Avril Lavigne when getting ready
4. Nonfat vanilla lattes from random coffee stands and comparing
5. Fuzzy socks


TOP 5 pet peeves
1. Hearing people swallow when drinking
2. When people are walking toward you and don't try to dodge you
3. When people try to embarrass other people to feel better about themself
4. When people all of the sudden were someones best friend after they pass away/using it to get attention
5. Rap music lyrics


TOP 5 times I am the happiest
1. When I'm with my best friends doing nothing
2. When around puppies or kittens
3. When something is so funny you can't stop laughing
4. When people can hang out with out needing or wanting to be drunk or high
5. Christmas dinner with extended family


That was actually really fun, yay!


Xo

It is...

When I started this blog, as I was overwhelmed with all of the details and settings... it asked me for a title and description. I probably sat staring at my computer screen for a good 5-10 minutes trying to find something that is a good representation of me, and who I am. As I fumbled through ideas I finally stumbled upon the phrase "it is what it is." It was perfect because not only does it display my mindset, it is something my Dad and I said to each other on almost a daily basis.

I remember the first time I ever said it to him, we were in an argument over something that at the time probably seemed like the biggest issue in the world... but now seems like time with my Dad put to waste. We were sitting on the couches in my parents house when we came to a disagreement. This happened all too often because of the stubbornness we both have naturally. I finally looked at him and said... "you know what, nothing is going to get resolved here, it is what it is." He kind of looked at me for a minute, and then started to cry. The look on his face was like I just hit a home run in a t-ball game, or I won the science fair. He was so proud of me and I couldn't really understand why. I ultimately stormed off leaving him there, like the selfish kid I was. After this he would say it to me all the time, and I think kind of because it went along with the Serenity Prayer that he recited pretty frequently.

"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference. "

I never thought that within a few months, or years, my Dad would be gone.

There's no real way to prepare yourself or be ready for the news that someone you love is never coming back. Because I had been through it once before when my brother passed away, I kind of knew what was to come, and braced myself. I have a strong respect, love and understanding for anyone who has gone through any type of trauma in their life whether it be a death in the family, or something else. The hardest part for me is watching everyone else move on. You know, when Andy died it was such a huge devastation, and so many people were confused, angry, lost. But as time goes on, people move on. And here you are left with this hole in your life. Losing someone is hard, no matter what. It's one of the worst things a person can experience in their entire life. And watching other people move on around you is to me, equally as hard. Trying to keep up with every day life, trying to just keep a smile on while you go to the grocery store. This is what I was talking about in my first post, how the world is moving so fast around you and there's no time to stop and feel anything. You watch the life of a person who was once a piece to your puzzle, slowly turn into this "thing" that people talk about. When it's a distant friend of a friend, you feel sad, you might even shed some tears, but you aren't truly affected by it all. When it's a person in your inner circle, who you talk to every day, who makes up the person you are......... what next? It's like your left with this situation you have no idea what to do in. And it never really goes away. And no one really knows what to say, what can you? When others are dealing with the same thing, I try to reach out to them...but it's hard you know, especially when you know exactly the knot they have in their stomach, and whatever you say isn't making it go away. All you can do is take it one day at a time, and deal with what you're given.

Life throws us some messed up things sometimes. We all deal with things every single day. Learning to take what you're presented with and make the most of it is the only way to survive. But I truly beleive in making the most of today, and telling people how you feel. I wish all the time I could go back... all the time. I am so envious of people who have their whole family to grow up with, so envious of people who will be able to have a big Christmas when they're older. And I wish I could talk some sense into those who are taking their lives for granted every day by wasting time arguing about the small things, because some don't even have that person to argue with.
This wasn't meant to turn into a sob story but I guess it kind of did. The whole point was to simply bring out the meaning of the blog title. Which is that you are dealt a life in which you have to live, you only get one, and really...... it is what it is. So make the best of it.




Xo

What is guaranteed

Yesterday we were all given the tragic news of the earthquake and tsunami that hit Japan.. what is there to say? We all send our prayers and we all cry a bit thinking of the families left without a home, without a family. That country will spend over a decade rebuilding what was once their home. And who to blame? Where to point the anger? God? Mother Nature? There's nothing to be said that can change or heal the hurt in thousands of lives.
My first thought was "Wow, that could have happened to us.." And then what? How would we have handled ourselves... You see stuff on the news, you read about it, you watch videos of tragic, tragic, things and never really experience them for yourself. It's always someone else. What if it wasn't? I can't help but think how fragile life really is, and how precious each day is. To wake up every morning truly is a gift, and to waste it is such a shame. It's times like these we remember what's really important and stop to remind ourselves that you really never know what tomorrow brings, or if you'll even be here to find out. I guess my point is that because tomorrow is never guaranteed ... why wouldn't we make the most of the moment that is guaranteed, right now. Tell the people you love that you love them, hell even tell the people you don't like how you feel. You don't want to wake up one day with regrets, wishing you had done things differently. I have always tried to base my life around this philosophy.. even taking the step of getting "live for today" tattooed on my foot. But even I have my moments where I lose sight of this goal and let the troubles of every day life get the best of me.
My heart truly aches for all of those people suffering. I wish there were something I could do to make their pain a little easier. Having been through several losses in my own family, I understand some of what these people are going through even if it is only one part. Praying all the time for Japan.

Xo

Well, well, well

Tonight I had the idea of starting a blog... Why not, right? A person with a million thoughts in their head should get them out. What better way to do that than on the Internet, because who wants a journal anyways? So I guess this is the start to my lovely, hard to figure out, self indulging, semi embarrassing....BLOG.
I'm not really sure how these things go.. so I guess I'll just rant a little and give some stories that I find interesting for the time being until I can figure out what this is all about. I'll first start with myself.. My name is Kelly, I'm 20, a Scorpio, Christian, vegetarian, shy, slightly awkward, open hearted, blonde hair blue eyed, tattooed, single, mostly friendly, student, residing in the greater Seattle area. (To name the obviously important things...) I'm a Paralegal student, hoping to find a job in criminal law someday...and ultimately hoping to find my place in the world. Talking about myself and my feelings and crap isn't usually what I do...but it seems like a good release, and no one will read it anyway. But here goes.

SERENITY.

My newest "thing" if you will, is meditation. Which sounds a little weird, and I don't really spill it that often, actually ever, but hey, judge away. I find it to be extremely useful in this crazy world we live in with cell phones and computers and ipods (sometimes all in one) and our constantly on-the-go lifestyles. Sometimes it feels like my brain is spinning so fast I can't keep up. With all the pressures out there, it's hard to have a second to feel anything at all. With homework and finals and friends and jobs and bills and chores and everything else...where is there time to stop and deal with your problems? There isn't. That's why I have made the decision to slow down, take every day one by one, remove the things that cause extra stress, and make my life more focused on finding my serenity. I have filled my apartment with plants, candles, and love in hopes of relaxing my mind and mellowing out. Meditating gives me that moment to sit down and think about nothing, say nothing, and do nothing. I did a little reading up on it before I started, to get a feel of what one does while meditating, and truthfully there are no rules. You can do whatever your heart desires... it's not about sitting criss-cross and humming over and over again, it's about finding your inner peace and allowing yourself for even just a second, to let go and just be. Personally, I like to turn off all the lights and light candles. I then put on music with no words. I sit or lay on the ground and breathe until all I am thinking about is breathing. Try it, I promise it helps.. Most will read this and laugh or maybe even make fun of me, and it doesn't really matter because you have to do what makes you feel better, and what will make you happy. Finding, appreciating, and loving yourself is the key to happiness...and I feel I am on the way there. One peaceful day at a time.

Xo