Two days ago, I was out and about shopping and had one of those "ah-ha!" moments. I was walking into a store when a man speed walked infront of me... Just as I was thinking to myself "how rude..." he grabbed the door and opened it only to let me walk in first. He must have been in his mid-thirties so it was clearly just an act of kindness. I smiled and said thank you, he said you're welcome and we went our seperate ways. As I was walking through the store it became so clear to me that not many of the guys I grew up with would ever do something like that. And I also thought about how good it made me feel. Good old fashioned polite gentlemen are what we need a little more of in this world. If only we could all go back in time to when things were a little different, when "ho's" were ladies, and "bro's" were gentlemen. I think I'd like that time a lot more than I do now.
Today I had an incident happen at work that has been ongoing for a while now with a particular employee I am not entirely fond of. Occasionally I'll see him and he will be friendly, but now and again he has some of the most vulgar, insulting comments that make me so uncomfortable. Being my non-confrontational self, I don't say anything, but choose to ignore what he says and let it go. Today I got so worked up about it I teared up and stormed out of the break room. I have talked myself into saying something to him and I do not look forward to it at all.
What I'm saying is this- Treating women like a floor mat isn't going to get you anywhere in life that you want to be. When did it become okay for people to talk to eachother like we're all just trash? When did it become okay to swear at, yell at, even hit women and still be a public figure (ie Chris Brown)? I am so tired of music with the nastiest lyrics, and kids who aren't even 18 yet walking around talking about sex and sluts and other things. It's not by any means "cool" to treat people poorly, especially women and girls. I wish there was something we could all do to change the minds of society and get things back to the way they were before reality tv and other negative influences. Open the door for us, pull our chair out, tell us we look pretty, and don't act like you care unless you really do.
I very much look forward to the day I meet a guy who treats me with respect and doesn't act like an animal who can't hold his tongue for 5 seconds. I truly believe not all men are the same and just because I have had about the worst experience in the world in past relationships, doesn't mean I am going to give up completely. Somewhere out there on an island, or planet, or something there has to be a group of nice guys who know how to be good people. I beleive in chivalry, and won't ever stop.
Xo
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
TOP 5's
So I got this idea to write about different things/topics and write about the top 5 of each.. seems weird, eh.. May as well have some fun with this thing huh! Here goes...
(In no particular order)
TOP 5 songs I'm listening to right now-
1. Friday - Rebec......just kidding
1. Set fire to the rain - Adele
2. Take it personal - Go Periscope
3. New People - Blue Scholars
4. Cats and dogs - The Head and the Heart
5. Need that - Mod Sun
TOP 5 best scents ever
1. Boys (clean ones)
2. Brewing coffee
3. Fresh cut grass
4. Orange peel candles from Anthropologie
5. Rain
TOP 5 things on my grocery list-
1. Cranberry Raspberry Juice
2. Bananas
3. Frozen bags of steamable vegetables
4. Margherita Pizza
5. Asparagus
TOP 5 places I want to go before I die-
1. Italy, for the food
2. Scotland, to meet/visit relatives
3. Ireland, because of the movie PS I love you
4. Australia, for the men
5. Washington D.C. to see EVERYTHING there
TOP 5 places you should take a girl (or I guess where I'd want to be taken)
1. Rollerblading OR flying kites at a beach
2. A gun range (if you know what you're doing)
3. A hike
4. On a sail boat
5. Camping in the summer or the mountains in the winter
TOP 5 must have at all times
1. Chapstick
2. Rings
3. Washed hair
4. Good company or no company
5. Dreams and goals
TOP 5 habits
1. Random candles burning always
2. Being awkward/getting embarrassed
3. Biting lip
4. Over thinking
5. Being the mom...
TOP 5 goals in life
1. Be happy with myself
2. Have no regrets
3. Follow all dreams
4. Be just like my Mom
5. Travel, a lot
TOP 5 things I miss about being younger
1. Dad killing spiders
2. Recess
3. Buying new plain white Adidas at the beginning of the school year
4. Dressing up for High School dances
5. Barbies
TOP 5 things I never have and never will do
1. Steal
2. Man made drugs (besides medicine, duh)
3. Someone elses boyfriend
4. Go streaking
5. Ask my boyfriend/husband if we can wear matching shirts
TOP 5 guilty pleasures
1. Frozen hersheys chocolate bars
2. Watching professional golf/ HGTV
3. Blasting stupid music like Avril Lavigne when getting ready
4. Nonfat vanilla lattes from random coffee stands and comparing
5. Fuzzy socks
TOP 5 pet peeves
1. Hearing people swallow when drinking
2. When people are walking toward you and don't try to dodge you
3. When people try to embarrass other people to feel better about themself
4. When people all of the sudden were someones best friend after they pass away/using it to get attention
5. Rap music lyrics
TOP 5 times I am the happiest
1. When I'm with my best friends doing nothing
2. When around puppies or kittens
3. When something is so funny you can't stop laughing
4. When people can hang out with out needing or wanting to be drunk or high
5. Christmas dinner with extended family
That was actually really fun, yay!
Xo
(In no particular order)
TOP 5 songs I'm listening to right now-
1. Friday - Rebec......just kidding
1. Set fire to the rain - Adele
2. Take it personal - Go Periscope
3. New People - Blue Scholars
4. Cats and dogs - The Head and the Heart
5. Need that - Mod Sun
TOP 5 best scents ever
1. Boys (clean ones)
2. Brewing coffee
3. Fresh cut grass
4. Orange peel candles from Anthropologie
5. Rain
TOP 5 things on my grocery list-
1. Cranberry Raspberry Juice
2. Bananas
3. Frozen bags of steamable vegetables
4. Margherita Pizza
5. Asparagus
TOP 5 places I want to go before I die-
1. Italy, for the food
2. Scotland, to meet/visit relatives
3. Ireland, because of the movie PS I love you
4. Australia, for the men
5. Washington D.C. to see EVERYTHING there
TOP 5 places you should take a girl (or I guess where I'd want to be taken)
1. Rollerblading OR flying kites at a beach
2. A gun range (if you know what you're doing)
3. A hike
4. On a sail boat
5. Camping in the summer or the mountains in the winter
TOP 5 must have at all times
1. Chapstick
2. Rings
3. Washed hair
4. Good company or no company
5. Dreams and goals
TOP 5 habits
1. Random candles burning always
2. Being awkward/getting embarrassed
3. Biting lip
4. Over thinking
5. Being the mom...
TOP 5 goals in life
1. Be happy with myself
2. Have no regrets
3. Follow all dreams
4. Be just like my Mom
5. Travel, a lot
TOP 5 things I miss about being younger
1. Dad killing spiders
2. Recess
3. Buying new plain white Adidas at the beginning of the school year
4. Dressing up for High School dances
5. Barbies
TOP 5 things I never have and never will do
1. Steal
2. Man made drugs (besides medicine, duh)
3. Someone elses boyfriend
4. Go streaking
5. Ask my boyfriend/husband if we can wear matching shirts
TOP 5 guilty pleasures
1. Frozen hersheys chocolate bars
2. Watching professional golf/ HGTV
3. Blasting stupid music like Avril Lavigne when getting ready
4. Nonfat vanilla lattes from random coffee stands and comparing
5. Fuzzy socks
TOP 5 pet peeves
1. Hearing people swallow when drinking
2. When people are walking toward you and don't try to dodge you
3. When people try to embarrass other people to feel better about themself
4. When people all of the sudden were someones best friend after they pass away/using it to get attention
5. Rap music lyrics
TOP 5 times I am the happiest
1. When I'm with my best friends doing nothing
2. When around puppies or kittens
3. When something is so funny you can't stop laughing
4. When people can hang out with out needing or wanting to be drunk or high
5. Christmas dinner with extended family
That was actually really fun, yay!
Xo
Sunday, March 13, 2011
It is...
When I started this blog, as I was overwhelmed with all of the details and settings... it asked me for a title and description. I probably sat staring at my computer screen for a good 5-10 minutes trying to find something that is a good representation of me, and who I am. As I fumbled through ideas I finally stumbled upon the phrase "it is what it is." It was perfect because not only does it display my mindset, it is something my Dad and I said to each other on almost a daily basis.
I remember the first time I ever said it to him, we were in an argument over something that at the time probably seemed like the biggest issue in the world... but now seems like time with my Dad put to waste. We were sitting on the couches in my parents house when we came to a disagreement. This happened all too often because of the stubbornness we both have naturally. I finally looked at him and said... "you know what, nothing is going to get resolved here, it is what it is." He kind of looked at me for a minute, and then started to cry. The look on his face was like I just hit a home run in a t-ball game, or I won the science fair. He was so proud of me and I couldn't really understand why. I ultimately stormed off leaving him there, like the selfish kid I was. After this he would say it to me all the time, and I think kind of because it went along with the Serenity Prayer that he recited pretty frequently.
"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference. "
I never thought that within a few months, or years, my Dad would be gone.
There's no real way to prepare yourself or be ready for the news that someone you love is never coming back. Because I had been through it once before when my brother passed away, I kind of knew what was to come, and braced myself. I have a strong respect, love and understanding for anyone who has gone through any type of trauma in their life whether it be a death in the family, or something else. The hardest part for me is watching everyone else move on. You know, when Andy died it was such a huge devastation, and so many people were confused, angry, lost. But as time goes on, people move on. And here you are left with this hole in your life. Losing someone is hard, no matter what. It's one of the worst things a person can experience in their entire life. And watching other people move on around you is to me, equally as hard. Trying to keep up with every day life, trying to just keep a smile on while you go to the grocery store. This is what I was talking about in my first post, how the world is moving so fast around you and there's no time to stop and feel anything. You watch the life of a person who was once a piece to your puzzle, slowly turn into this "thing" that people talk about. When it's a distant friend of a friend, you feel sad, you might even shed some tears, but you aren't truly affected by it all. When it's a person in your inner circle, who you talk to every day, who makes up the person you are......... what next? It's like your left with this situation you have no idea what to do in. And it never really goes away. And no one really knows what to say, what can you? When others are dealing with the same thing, I try to reach out to them...but it's hard you know, especially when you know exactly the knot they have in their stomach, and whatever you say isn't making it go away. All you can do is take it one day at a time, and deal with what you're given.
Life throws us some messed up things sometimes. We all deal with things every single day. Learning to take what you're presented with and make the most of it is the only way to survive. But I truly beleive in making the most of today, and telling people how you feel. I wish all the time I could go back... all the time. I am so envious of people who have their whole family to grow up with, so envious of people who will be able to have a big Christmas when they're older. And I wish I could talk some sense into those who are taking their lives for granted every day by wasting time arguing about the small things, because some don't even have that person to argue with.
This wasn't meant to turn into a sob story but I guess it kind of did. The whole point was to simply bring out the meaning of the blog title. Which is that you are dealt a life in which you have to live, you only get one, and really...... it is what it is. So make the best of it.
Xo
I remember the first time I ever said it to him, we were in an argument over something that at the time probably seemed like the biggest issue in the world... but now seems like time with my Dad put to waste. We were sitting on the couches in my parents house when we came to a disagreement. This happened all too often because of the stubbornness we both have naturally. I finally looked at him and said... "you know what, nothing is going to get resolved here, it is what it is." He kind of looked at me for a minute, and then started to cry. The look on his face was like I just hit a home run in a t-ball game, or I won the science fair. He was so proud of me and I couldn't really understand why. I ultimately stormed off leaving him there, like the selfish kid I was. After this he would say it to me all the time, and I think kind of because it went along with the Serenity Prayer that he recited pretty frequently.
"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference. "
I never thought that within a few months, or years, my Dad would be gone.
There's no real way to prepare yourself or be ready for the news that someone you love is never coming back. Because I had been through it once before when my brother passed away, I kind of knew what was to come, and braced myself. I have a strong respect, love and understanding for anyone who has gone through any type of trauma in their life whether it be a death in the family, or something else. The hardest part for me is watching everyone else move on. You know, when Andy died it was such a huge devastation, and so many people were confused, angry, lost. But as time goes on, people move on. And here you are left with this hole in your life. Losing someone is hard, no matter what. It's one of the worst things a person can experience in their entire life. And watching other people move on around you is to me, equally as hard. Trying to keep up with every day life, trying to just keep a smile on while you go to the grocery store. This is what I was talking about in my first post, how the world is moving so fast around you and there's no time to stop and feel anything. You watch the life of a person who was once a piece to your puzzle, slowly turn into this "thing" that people talk about. When it's a distant friend of a friend, you feel sad, you might even shed some tears, but you aren't truly affected by it all. When it's a person in your inner circle, who you talk to every day, who makes up the person you are......... what next? It's like your left with this situation you have no idea what to do in. And it never really goes away. And no one really knows what to say, what can you? When others are dealing with the same thing, I try to reach out to them...but it's hard you know, especially when you know exactly the knot they have in their stomach, and whatever you say isn't making it go away. All you can do is take it one day at a time, and deal with what you're given.
Life throws us some messed up things sometimes. We all deal with things every single day. Learning to take what you're presented with and make the most of it is the only way to survive. But I truly beleive in making the most of today, and telling people how you feel. I wish all the time I could go back... all the time. I am so envious of people who have their whole family to grow up with, so envious of people who will be able to have a big Christmas when they're older. And I wish I could talk some sense into those who are taking their lives for granted every day by wasting time arguing about the small things, because some don't even have that person to argue with.
This wasn't meant to turn into a sob story but I guess it kind of did. The whole point was to simply bring out the meaning of the blog title. Which is that you are dealt a life in which you have to live, you only get one, and really...... it is what it is. So make the best of it.
Xo
Friday, March 11, 2011
What is guaranteed
Yesterday we were all given the tragic news of the earthquake and tsunami that hit Japan.. what is there to say? We all send our prayers and we all cry a bit thinking of the families left without a home, without a family. That country will spend over a decade rebuilding what was once their home. And who to blame? Where to point the anger? God? Mother Nature? There's nothing to be said that can change or heal the hurt in thousands of lives.
My first thought was "Wow, that could have happened to us.." And then what? How would we have handled ourselves... You see stuff on the news, you read about it, you watch videos of tragic, tragic, things and never really experience them for yourself. It's always someone else. What if it wasn't? I can't help but think how fragile life really is, and how precious each day is. To wake up every morning truly is a gift, and to waste it is such a shame. It's times like these we remember what's really important and stop to remind ourselves that you really never know what tomorrow brings, or if you'll even be here to find out. I guess my point is that because tomorrow is never guaranteed ... why wouldn't we make the most of the moment that is guaranteed, right now. Tell the people you love that you love them, hell even tell the people you don't like how you feel. You don't want to wake up one day with regrets, wishing you had done things differently. I have always tried to base my life around this philosophy.. even taking the step of getting "live for today" tattooed on my foot. But even I have my moments where I lose sight of this goal and let the troubles of every day life get the best of me.
My heart truly aches for all of those people suffering. I wish there were something I could do to make their pain a little easier. Having been through several losses in my own family, I understand some of what these people are going through even if it is only one part. Praying all the time for Japan.
Xo
My first thought was "Wow, that could have happened to us.." And then what? How would we have handled ourselves... You see stuff on the news, you read about it, you watch videos of tragic, tragic, things and never really experience them for yourself. It's always someone else. What if it wasn't? I can't help but think how fragile life really is, and how precious each day is. To wake up every morning truly is a gift, and to waste it is such a shame. It's times like these we remember what's really important and stop to remind ourselves that you really never know what tomorrow brings, or if you'll even be here to find out. I guess my point is that because tomorrow is never guaranteed ... why wouldn't we make the most of the moment that is guaranteed, right now. Tell the people you love that you love them, hell even tell the people you don't like how you feel. You don't want to wake up one day with regrets, wishing you had done things differently. I have always tried to base my life around this philosophy.. even taking the step of getting "live for today" tattooed on my foot. But even I have my moments where I lose sight of this goal and let the troubles of every day life get the best of me.
My heart truly aches for all of those people suffering. I wish there were something I could do to make their pain a little easier. Having been through several losses in my own family, I understand some of what these people are going through even if it is only one part. Praying all the time for Japan.
Xo
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Well, well, well
Tonight I had the idea of starting a blog... Why not, right? A person with a million thoughts in their head should get them out. What better way to do that than on the Internet, because who wants a journal anyways? So I guess this is the start to my lovely, hard to figure out, self indulging, semi embarrassing....BLOG.
I'm not really sure how these things go.. so I guess I'll just rant a little and give some stories that I find interesting for the time being until I can figure out what this is all about. I'll first start with myself.. My name is Kelly, I'm 20, a Scorpio, Christian, vegetarian, shy, slightly awkward, open hearted, blonde hair blue eyed, tattooed, single, mostly friendly, student, residing in the greater Seattle area. (To name the obviously important things...) I'm a Paralegal student, hoping to find a job in criminal law someday...and ultimately hoping to find my place in the world. Talking about myself and my feelings and crap isn't usually what I do...but it seems like a good release, and no one will read it anyway. But here goes.
SERENITY.
My newest "thing" if you will, is meditation. Which sounds a little weird, and I don't really spill it that often, actually ever, but hey, judge away. I find it to be extremely useful in this crazy world we live in with cell phones and computers and ipods (sometimes all in one) and our constantly on-the-go lifestyles. Sometimes it feels like my brain is spinning so fast I can't keep up. With all the pressures out there, it's hard to have a second to feel anything at all. With homework and finals and friends and jobs and bills and chores and everything else...where is there time to stop and deal with your problems? There isn't. That's why I have made the decision to slow down, take every day one by one, remove the things that cause extra stress, and make my life more focused on finding my serenity. I have filled my apartment with plants, candles, and love in hopes of relaxing my mind and mellowing out. Meditating gives me that moment to sit down and think about nothing, say nothing, and do nothing. I did a little reading up on it before I started, to get a feel of what one does while meditating, and truthfully there are no rules. You can do whatever your heart desires... it's not about sitting criss-cross and humming over and over again, it's about finding your inner peace and allowing yourself for even just a second, to let go and just be. Personally, I like to turn off all the lights and light candles. I then put on music with no words. I sit or lay on the ground and breathe until all I am thinking about is breathing. Try it, I promise it helps.. Most will read this and laugh or maybe even make fun of me, and it doesn't really matter because you have to do what makes you feel better, and what will make you happy. Finding, appreciating, and loving yourself is the key to happiness...and I feel I am on the way there. One peaceful day at a time.
Xo
I'm not really sure how these things go.. so I guess I'll just rant a little and give some stories that I find interesting for the time being until I can figure out what this is all about. I'll first start with myself.. My name is Kelly, I'm 20, a Scorpio, Christian, vegetarian, shy, slightly awkward, open hearted, blonde hair blue eyed, tattooed, single, mostly friendly, student, residing in the greater Seattle area. (To name the obviously important things...) I'm a Paralegal student, hoping to find a job in criminal law someday...and ultimately hoping to find my place in the world. Talking about myself and my feelings and crap isn't usually what I do...but it seems like a good release, and no one will read it anyway. But here goes.
SERENITY.
My newest "thing" if you will, is meditation. Which sounds a little weird, and I don't really spill it that often, actually ever, but hey, judge away. I find it to be extremely useful in this crazy world we live in with cell phones and computers and ipods (sometimes all in one) and our constantly on-the-go lifestyles. Sometimes it feels like my brain is spinning so fast I can't keep up. With all the pressures out there, it's hard to have a second to feel anything at all. With homework and finals and friends and jobs and bills and chores and everything else...where is there time to stop and deal with your problems? There isn't. That's why I have made the decision to slow down, take every day one by one, remove the things that cause extra stress, and make my life more focused on finding my serenity. I have filled my apartment with plants, candles, and love in hopes of relaxing my mind and mellowing out. Meditating gives me that moment to sit down and think about nothing, say nothing, and do nothing. I did a little reading up on it before I started, to get a feel of what one does while meditating, and truthfully there are no rules. You can do whatever your heart desires... it's not about sitting criss-cross and humming over and over again, it's about finding your inner peace and allowing yourself for even just a second, to let go and just be. Personally, I like to turn off all the lights and light candles. I then put on music with no words. I sit or lay on the ground and breathe until all I am thinking about is breathing. Try it, I promise it helps.. Most will read this and laugh or maybe even make fun of me, and it doesn't really matter because you have to do what makes you feel better, and what will make you happy. Finding, appreciating, and loving yourself is the key to happiness...and I feel I am on the way there. One peaceful day at a time.
Xo
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